Jan 9, 2018

Things I'm Afraid To Tell You


One of my goals this year as I shared last week was to get a bit more personal on the blog. I'm trying to make connections with you all- and hey, I don't always need to share a highlight reel all the time because TRUE LIFE it's not always about that.

Today I thought  I'd share some things about Mom life that I'm not proud of it. As a Mom, it can be super hard to deal with some of these issues and I want to honest with you all in saying as much as it looks like I've got it together ( ha ) you know that I don't ( and truth- no one does )!

- I Yell.  It's one thing I truly dislike about myself as a Mom and something that I've continue to work on year after year. Sometimes I just become so frustrated with my 4 year old for not listening that I just yell. Not holler- but seriously SCREAM. I remember as a kid when my Mom yelled at me for something and I vividly remember her slamming her hand on the table because she had reached her breaking point. I was terrified. Utterly scared. Sometimes I know that I need to just take a huge breath before the screaming begins and I reach that breaking point. I realize it's never a good technique to do and something I've been scared to admit that I'm not a 'good Mom' for yelling at my children.

-I Have Anxiety Attacks - I've written a few posts ( HERE HERE  and HERE) about this and so far I haven't had many but I know its due to a lot of stress that can come at me at one given time. I'm trying to get better, make lists and do what I can to calm myself down when they happen. It's been scary at times as I've even fainted in front of Lily for being so worried about an incident that happened. Thank goodness my SIL was there to help after it occurred and I was actually ok but it's real life and something I'll continue to work on day in and day out.

- I dont pay ANY of our bills. Ahh! If you know me, bills..numbers..I hate it. I don't get it. I know how to run my company ( aka this little blog ) and where all the details are  but when it comes to personal finances I have no freakin' idea what to do. Our mortgage? Account number? Ummm what? It's all Zach and when I say that to other Mom's they freak! On the flip side, Zach gets confused with dates and times. I am ON that! We have really divided up tasks that I know I can handle and Zach can handle - and we both know money is not my forte. I'm the list maker, scheduler and can handle anything that relates to that aspect of the kids and us as a couple and I'm super comfortable in that role.

Alright so those are just a few of the things right now but I'm sure I'll come up with a few more as the year continues and I want to peel back a few more layers to share. I hope it gives you some encouragement to share what you're scared or afraid to tell others. We're truly here to help one another and if I can be apart of that, you bet I'm jumping head first to help!

Share something you're afraid of as a Mom ( or something in general )

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35 comments:

  1. I think it's a really good idea to split up the tasks of managing adult life with the husband based on what you're good at! I'm good with numbers, but not so much with technology and I don't like online banking, so the husband pays all of our bills through the online system here, but I keep track of all the incoming and outgoing money and the different line items in our budget--works for us!

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  2. I love that you are so open! I cannot manage money for the life of me lol. Bills are so confusing to me!!

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  3. Thanks for your transparency! I think couples should play off of each other strengths and weaknesses so if he's better at bill paying its alright to let him do it.Also, I'm sure all moms have yelled at one point or another, we're not perfect.

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  4. Awe, Thanks for sharing! Its encouraging to hear that I'm not the only none that looses her temper. Ilove your transparency, as we all strive to BE BETTER not perfect.;)

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  5. I can totally relate to the anxiety attacks. Definitely not a fun thing to experience or share with others, but thank you for being honest! It really helps to know you can connect with someone who deals with the same struggles as you!

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  6. Wow! Thanks for being so vulnerable and sharing that with us. In today's society, we're all expected to put on a face and pretend like everything's perfect, and look down on those who are not. But in reality, we all have something we need to work on or are scared of. I'm scared of failure and rejection. As one of my New Year's Resolutions, it's something I'm working on by pushing myself out of my comfort zone at least once a month and making myself feel uncomfortable.

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  7. I totally get the anxiety attacks. They are horrible, and absolutely a work in progress. Thankfully mine are less common then they once were, but they are not completely gone. Stay strong, stay honest about it, and you will get this. :)

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  8. I've been having anxiety a lot lately, too and I don't always know my trigger so it's good that you have identified yours. I'm so sorry you've had fainting spells with yours. Thank you for sharing this post and being so transparent. Life isn't easy but it helps to know that someone else cares and is going through the same things, too.

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  9. As someone who deals with anxiety, I totally get it! It can be really frustrating when things that are a breeze to others make me so anxious.

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  10. Cait! This was an insanely honest post and as a fellow mom I am sending you a virtual high 5 for putting it out there. We are with you mama! <3 I yell too. Hee, hee.

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  11. You're brave to admit it! Awesome post!!

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  12. Thanks for sharing so honestly. I think it's great that you and your husband are a team and know who has strengths in certain areas and that you own those strengths. My husband and I are figuring this stuff out ourselves since we are newlyweds. Thanks for the inspiration!

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  13. Love these honest posts! My husband and I split up a lot of the tasks as well, but we only have me and him to worry about so it is a little easier. But girl, if I gave him the bills to pay we would have to TV, electricity or a house. So I gladly take over that responsibility. HA!

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  14. All 3 bold sentences is exactly how I am too. Being a Mom is hard. It's probably the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. I love that you are being 100% honest. I don't know that I could have just come out and said it. But since you have said it I feel comfortable saying that I can relate and am the exact same way. I mean I could have wrote this blog...we're that similar! My son is 12 and it does get easier so do remind yourself of that!

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  15. I also suffer from anxiety and the attacks are horrible! You’re not alone!

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  16. Well, I'm a grandmother and so I'm an empty nester. And I am afraid to tell people that I don't have the patience that I think I should have with my grandchildren. I work on it more now that I ever did when I had kids at home so I am better. Back then I didn't even realize that it was something that I needed to work on. So you are a step or two ahead of where I was. You have acknowledged it and are striving to work on it. Good job!
    :) gwingal

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  17. I've been working on the yelling thing as well, so I totally get it!

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  18. Posts like this as so hard to read but know you aren’t alone. I also suffer from terrible anxiety attics and it’s terrifying - to go through them but also to not know when they might occur. Hang in there! You are a great mama!

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  19. I yell too and it's something I'm really trying to work on. I don't like doing it but I swear sometimes they wouldn't listen to a single thing if I didn't yell.

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  20. Thanks for being so honest! I think most parents yell at some point - I'm not sure how it could NEVER happen, you know? It's overwhelming. I know that and I'm not even a mom yet. As for not paying the bills, numbers are so not my thing either. I think it's okay to split jobs up as long as you all are on the same page!

    -Lauren
    www.shootingstarsmag.net

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  21. I feel you! I struggle with anxiety too. It took me a long time to realize it's nothing to be ashamed of. <3

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  22. I LOVE reading posts like this where mamas are so open! We are all just doing our best!!

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  23. Sending a virtual hug to you mama! There is no reason for you to feel bad; all of us go through stress and anxiety. Even "the best" mama yells sometimes. It is good to let it out and share like you did. Acknowledging what we don't like or what we want to change about ourselves IS the first step for a better "you.

    One thing that helps me the most in stressful times is essential oils. I want to recommend two of my favorites that I use regularly because they are a game changer (please note that these are my affiliate links)

    1) This is my go-to from Eden's Garden for instant stress relief: http://mamamingo.com/recommends/edens-garden-stress-relief/
    I use 1-2 drops and rub it on my wrists, then I rub the rest on my nose, so I can smell it. It gives me an instant uplift.
    2) This is a must-have for relaxation:
    http://mamamingo.com/recommends/edens-garden-relaxation/
    I use this mainly for night-time relaxation or when I do yoga. It is a more grounding an earthy scent. I usually add 2-3 drops to my oil diffuser and let it do its magic!
    3) I have been using this oil diffuser for two years and I love it:
    http://mamamingo.com/recommends/innoo-tech-oil-diffuser/
    The essential oils will last you a long time. I use 2-3 drops of essential and it's the perfect relaxing treat for the rest of the night!

    I hope these will help Cait. Just know that you are not alone!

    Ozum @ Mama Mingo

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  24. It totally takes courage to write a post like this. I am so not a personal finances person either. My hubby handles those.

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  25. I love that you're unafraid to just tell it like it is. We fellow friends love you all the more for it! Whenever there's something about ourselves that we're not fond of, it seems that once we put it in writing we can start to alter those habits and make the changes we desire. It's a brand new year, and a brand new start! :-)

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  26. I am in my 20s and not a mother yet, but this teaches me a lot about being ok with tolerating and accepting the things that I am not good at and letting my future partner handle them. Very mature and secure of you. love it.

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  27. I'm not a mom yet, but I'm afraid of doing some of the things that my mom did when I have a child. I want to do everything different.

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  28. I am with you on the screaming thing. I'm afraid to turn into my mother also because she screamed a lot too. I keep trying to work on it, but sometimes it's so hard not when you hit a certain point. Luckily I know when I'm about to hit that point, I just send my daughter to her room or have my fiance take over so I can breathe.

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  29. I am with you on the screaming thing. I'm afraid to turn into my mother also because she screamed a lot too. I keep trying to work on it, but sometimes it's so hard not when you hit a certain point. Luckily I know when I'm about to hit that point, I just send my daughter to her room or have my fiance take over so I can breathe.

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  30. I think you must be in my kids' age range (from 28 to 36), but I can vividly remember and identify with your brave confessions here! I also struggled in those areas as a young mother, with the exception that my husband at the time (divorced and remarried now) worked while I stayed home with the kids, and he expected me to take care of paying the bills. But acknowledging areas of weakness is the first step toward change and growth (my phrase for 2018: change and growth!) - you can do it!

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  31. These feelings are so relatable to me about anxiety attacks. I know that it's hard but I found that speaking to a therapist to be so helpful for me!

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  32. These feelings are so relatable to me about anxiety attacks. I know that it's hard but I found that speaking to a therapist to be so helpful for me!

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  33. As someone who deals with anxiety, I totally get it. I know it can be difficult but i find talking to a trusted friend helps.

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  34. I'm one who lets my hubby take care of the finances, too! It's so confusing for me!

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  35. I can relate on yelling and anxiety attacks, loads of them. But I am now trying not to or atleast lessen those acts and remind myself to stay calm and let the small incidents not ruin my mood.

    When it comes to paying bills, I do online banking so it wasn’t a big deal for me. Also, my planner mostly consists of tracking down our expenses and kids’ schedules. So yeah, I’m keeping my sanity with the help of journal writing 😝

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