Alright alright, I know I’ve been a #SAHM for a few months now but there are a lot of things I didn’t realize that woman ( and #SAHD ) go through. You have to consider a lot of factors. For instance, are you and your husband on the same page? Is he on board with your plan to stay home? How will it affect your relationship? How will the chores at home be divided up if you do decide to be a SAHM. What about your career?
I have to admit that when I thought about it the other day, I could only really think of one mother who I knew “just” stay at home but the majority of other Mom’s who I know who stayed home with their children also managed to blend work-from home or part-time solutions that works best for them. The truth is, staying at home doesn’t always mean what the world seems to think. I think it’s time to go over a few of those common lies that what people think SAHM or DAHM do.
1. They Love What They Do– I mean, yes we love what we do but news flash, you don’t have to love every minute of staying at home to be a good mom. I used to wonder if something was wrong with me because I genuinely despised some parts of staying at home when I first did it with Lily 3 years ago. Now, in my month of being at home, I’ve realized I can dread parts of the journey and it won’t mean I’m doing a bad job. In way, staying at home is a job and you have good days or bad days, great moments and tough moments but it’s all part of it.
2. We Don’t Care About How We Look – You should care about how you look. Too many times I have seen a mother at the grocery store, the kids hanging all over here with spit up on her stained shirt and just looking miserable. Don’t BE that Mom. I’m not saying you need to be a 1950’s housewife whose hair is perfect, make up on and wears a dress and heels but take PRIDE in your appearance. After taking that mandatory shower, take 5 minutes to put on some clean clothes and get yourself feeling human again. So many SAHM’s get lost in being so and so’s Mom and forget that they are woman first. I’m a basic t-shirt and jean shorts type of girl but if you want to throw on a cute dress now and then, go for it!
3. Get New Friends – I’m not saying to ditch your old friends. In fact, I’m saying work hard to keep those friendships going but also find those friends who are also home to help you out. When you’re feeling like the flu is coming on, call a friend who can watch your kids for you to get some rest. If you’re lucky and have family near by, ask them as well. They are there at home to help you too! I love being able to still talk to some of my girlfriends who are also stay at home Mom’s so get our kids together and they understand what I’m going through when I need to have a venting session ha.
4. I Don’t Know How You Didn’t Get Everything Done – I know your first reaction is to say “ARE YOU KIDDING ME” because I was there too ha. Every mom knows it’s impossible to get on the phone or do anything that requires much concentration when you have young kids awake at home. You’re constantly doing stuff all day and always interrupted. It’s overwhelming! When my husband said that one time, I made him stay home with both kids for a few hours to see what it was like to try and get a big to-do list done.
5. “You Don’t Work So You Don’t Understand” – I’ve only been out of working for a few months myself, but there is one thing I’m constantly getting told that because I’m not working anymore I don’t understand the amount of stress someone is going through. We all work hard on behalf of our families and we want the best for our children. We need to respect and support one another and our values to raise our children in this world.
Have you heard of any of these before? Are you a mom that stays hoe and you’re sick of hearing some of these things yourself? Leave a comment below and let me know!
My mom worked from home, and I would say the more complicated part of her life was still dealing with my brother and I! Stay at home moms are SO important! Great post!
My best friend is a SAHM and I totally understand this! She is always so busy and I honestly don't know how she gets all that she gets done at home with a 1.5 year old!!
#5 is my pet peeve. Why does "work" and work outside the home, especially, define all of us?
I'm not a mom – so not a stay at home mom – but I know that watching kids is a LOT, so I don't know how anyone COULD do it all. Good for you for making your husband see what it's like to watch the kids and still try to do things. lol Not easy!
-Lauren
http://www.shootingstarsmag.net
Love this post! Having worked out side the home and now as a SAHM, I agree that we need to to supportive of each other no matter what our current work/mom status may be. Thanks for sharing your insights. Sending hugs to you and appreciation for the amazing work you do as a mom and as a writer.
Being a SAHM is hard work. Running a household IS work!!
I totally agree – assuming that I don’t care about how I look just because I stay home is completely crazy!
ohhhh… I've heard all of these before. Staying with a small kid was actually harder than working… at least for me 🙂
Girrrrrlll…I hear you on these! I used to be a SAHM and I hear all of these all. the. time! 🙂
My mom was a SAHM and my husband is a SAHD. As much as I wanted to stay at home or work from home., it was not financially feasible for us. I admire my mom so much and my husband is an awesome SAHD.
Thank you for sharing! Many people don't realize staying home is like having more than one full time job (housekeeping AND raising kids) and tons of part time gigs, too.
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Love this post! Having worked outside the home and now as a SAHM, I concur that we have to steady of each other regardless of what our present work/mother status might be. A debt of gratitude is in order for sharing your bits of knowledge. Sending embraces to you and gratefulness for the astounding work you do as a mother and as an author.
I love it, Cait. I genuinely feel like SAHM's are underappreciated and grew up with my own mother being one and I can't tell you how great it was to always have her around. If anyone ever says, "You don't work so you don't understand", that's an insane statement. I'd rather work 60 hrs a week at a full-time job doing manual labor than watch a few babies all day every day. It's such hard work! Anyway, thanks for the post.
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Lovely post! I really wish the term Stay at Home Mom was worded better where it doesn’t sound like we are doing nothing better than browsing through tv channels while scrolling on insta. I cringe internally when someone asks me if I’m working or not. I mean I do get what they ask but when I have to sheepishly say I’m a SAHM, I wish I could describe that I work just as hard.
There is certainly a great deal to learn about this issue.
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