Zach and I have been together for almost 11 years. That includes countless moves across country, life changing events like getting married, having children and loosing loved ones. It’s a crazy 11 years but I truly wouldn’t change anything. That being said, I know that in those 11 years I haven’t always been the best wife. I haven’t been the one to put him first. I’ve screamed, yelled and said things I shouldn’t have in the moment. We all have haven’t we? I’m guilty of it and being honest.
One some level, we are all trying to better ourselves. We want to be a better Mom, a better friend and right now, a better wife to your spouse. But know that this isn’t a change that’s going to happen overnight. However, you can start today by doing some of these steps and over time, these will all be second nature. So what are these little handy items to do?
1. Don’t Nag – If there is one thing I’m super guilty about, it’s nagging my husband about this or that. Believe it or not, there really is a difference between asking for something and nagging. Keep that in mind when your partner is there..because that’s just it- they are your partner, not your child. While they might not be as ambitious as others, it’s really important to not expect things to be done all the time to your standards. It’s a hard pill for me to swallow but I bite my tongue the second I feel like I need to nag. Instead, I take a breath and ask for the 4th time to help put items away after the dishes are done. ( on being a Mom is hard too )
2. Communication is Key – We’ve all heard this saying but it’s so true. You and your spouse are not mind readers. If you have an issue, discuss it! If you’re upset about something- tell them! They key is to communicate effectively without getting upset or frustrated. I’ve shared a few posts about how we’ve learned to communicate over the years and while it’s always a work in progress, we know what one another’s triggers are and when to stop. ( Tips on keeping your marriage strong )
3. Dress Up – Long ago before kids, Zach and I used to dress up to go on date nights together. It may sound superficial, but remember those days of putting in effort into your appearance? It’s really easy to get comfortable and not try as hard as you once did. Zach even told me that he loves when I do my makeup ( because hello, I’m not the best at it and #MomLife ) but obviously, it doesn’t take much to make him happy. Once in a while, take an extra five minutes to beautify yourself. They’ll notice your efforts and it can help reignite the flame. ( Budget Friendly Date Night ideas )
4. Let Him Have His “Guy Time” – I totally understand that you love spending time with your man, but hey, sometime’s guys just want to be guys! They need to play those video games and get to the gym. They want to go run and tackle their friends in a game of football. If we are to controlling and don’t let them have their ’em time’, they’ll be unhappy. Plus, use that time for yourself too. While he does his guy thing, get, go get that mani/pedi or shopping on!
5. Find A Balance – When Zach and I first were married, it was a balance of our qualities coming together. Allow those qualities to complement one another. I actually love to do laundry ( no really..I do ) and Zach would rather clean all the toilets in the bathroom then fold, so he lets me do it and I let him clean. Once you’re able to identify your strengths, as a couple, you’ll be able to find your own rhythm and balance.
6. Make Quality Time With Them – It’s easy to text ” I love you ” or plan a surprise with a favorite meal. Better yet, having a friendly date night on a budget can be fun to plan. It can also be super easy to lose sight of your marriage when children, work, chores and obstacles of everyday life get thrown into the mix. Take time to recognize that your partner is a priority. Show them. ( HERE’S how we spent quality time )