I shared a few months ago about how body shaming had affected my self-esteem growing up as a young girl who was never fat shammed, but skinny shammed. So many of you were able to relate to this post so I thought I would share a bit more about my experience now as an adult and what I’ve learned in the process of going through it 15 years later.
I shared my struggles with anxiety, depression and even PPA after having my daughter almost 5 years ago but never once did I feel as if I had to explain why I was able to loose weight quickly, what diet I was on to look the way I did or how many times a week I exercise to keep my body looking toned and ‘flawless’.
See that picture above? While I may look as if I have some abs, there was a bit of a shadowing going on. When pregnant with Landon, he was so large he separated the upper half of my abs so I have what’s called dissectus recti. Basically I have a 2″ gap between my abs that will never go back which you can still see a year and a half later. I’ve tried working with a physical therapist for a few weeks when I lived in Atlanta but I’m ok if it doesn’t look great.
I also realized that I needed to surround myself with those that weren’t complimenting my body ( and while yes that is a great thing to share, I never want to be a comparison to anyone else so thanks Internet Trolls ) but rather just want to be around me because I’m a good listener, and showing up FOR me. I tend to have a fear of not having enough friends, of not being needed and feel awful when I wouldn’t be invited to a friends gathering. But what I was forgetting was, I don’t need to have a lot of friends but truly those that want me in their life for me not my size.
I’m not perfect nor do I ever want you to think I am. I’m just me; Cait. I’m comfortable with myself, the way my body looks post kids and even after having two babies. I’m learning to love myself every day and taking you along the crazy journey too.
You're right, the best thing to do is to learn to love our body and stop comparing it to others'
You're an amazing person for your big heart! That's why people should love you!
Aw, Cait, thanks so much for sharing your story and I'm so sorry anyone has ever made you feel bad. Whether it's being fat shamed or skinny shamed, it's all wrong and many times people criticize others due to their own insecurities. The best thing you can do is surround yourself with people who love you just the way you are. And know that you are beautiful, no matter what! 🙂
Learning to love ourselves is certainly a process but so important! I'm working on that everyday because I know I can never love someone else fully until I love myself completely. Thanks for sharing and opening up!
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i've been skinny shammed growing up and now after two babies i'm still getting the 'when are you due questions a whole year after my newest baby. ack! i feel you and wish you a healthy and happy 2019!
It's so hard (and I worry about future generations) to live in a technology driven world now given people are already mean… and that they'd be able to body shame others. I'm so glad you're comfortable with yourself – and for most (like me) it takes a long time to feel that way. Funny thing is i'm more comfortable with myself after I had my son! Great of you to open up – thanks for sharing!
Thank you so much for doing this post! I was always called the “skinny girl” or someone would say “put some meat on those bones.” I think people forget how hurtful those words are.
when I was younger this was something that I struggled with I hated who I was and what I looked like. Now as a mother and grandmother I strive to teach the girls to love who they are and how they are they are beautiful
BODY SHAMING IS CRAP. Thanks for sharing–I really think the more all types of bodies talk about this, the more aware people will be come about how just horrible it is to do this. We have to stop acting like our bodies are the MOST interesting thing about ourselves– we are all so much more than what we look like. <3
So, so, so right. Body shaming, no matter the content is so wrong and heartless. Gotta tune those people out. <3
Thank you so much for sharing Cait! We grew a life and it's so important to love our bodies post partum. Thank you! ��
Wow! Thanks so much for sharing – I continue to struggle with this, but I get better everyday!
Body shaming is so terrible. I love that you're bringing light to it and your experiences with it! I think bodies should be off limits, no talk about them unless it's positive, loving words.
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A few months ago my stepdad told me that I looked like I belonged in a concentration camp because I was so skinny. He thought it was funny. I was at my niece's birthday party when he told me and I couldn't stop crying, I was so upset. Since then I put on 10 pounds and I look healthier.
Thank you for sharing your story! Growing up I was always the "really skinny girl" and I could never figure out why people thought it was okay to pick on the scrawny kid and didn't realize it was just as hurtful as picking on the overweight child. Also I struggle with diastasis recti. Keep up the great posts!
We gave life to another human being! That is a miracle in itself. We have to love our bodies and appreciate our bodies for all that it's been through. You look great! After having 7 kiddos I keep myself fit, but I am not flawless. And you know what I love that I am not flawless!! Great post. Thanks!
Such a fantastic post! We must celebrate and build each other up and every day too! So many have made wrong choices based on how others make them feel. Thanks for sharing.
I don't think that we have to be scared of that unless it looks ugly:) Thank you for such a great post!
Way to go! So many of us have been surrounded by body shaming and believed it. It's devastating to our mental and physical health. I sure absorbed a lot of those messages during my 41 year battle with binge eating (finally beat that in 2017). Hope your message goes viral!
I'm not quite what I used to be after having two kids, either. One was a vaginal delivery, the other a cesarean, so had my gut cut open for one of them. It bothers me, but I also feel good with where I am. But, I am same as you, I want people to like me for me, no matter what I look like. I don't look at someone's size when I determine if I want to talk to them or be friends!
I can definitely relate. I have always been very skinny and since I'm tall I just carry my weight a little different than people who are shorter than I am. I have had 3 kids in the last 4 years and I am by no means as slender as I was before kids, but I did go back to being a thinner person pretty quickly.
Body shaming is just awful on both ends of the spectrum. The media/ads contribute to the problem and we live in a world where we are judged by our looks and that is ridiculous. I feel your pain.
Body shaming is just terrible, no matter how it's done. We need to let people be proud of your body. And skinny shaming is definitely one that people don't talk enough about. I'm glad you're standing up and making a point!
It drives me nuts how much culture focuses on how people (especially girls) look. I always want my girls to be presentable when they leave the house in the morning (i.e. not go to school in their footie PJs or with their midriffs hanging out, neither of which is allowed anyway) BUT it drives me nuts when people tell them they are "pretty" OR "smart" – I'd much rather they know they are kind to others, hard workers, and creative problem solvers.
Body shaming is horrible!!! I was a double 00 when I was in high school naturally and I got so much hate. So dumb that people will judge you for things you can’t control
I think exactly like you! the most important is to love yourself unconditionally, ditch everybody in your life who can't understand that!
Great read, it’s interesting how people feel the need to comment on each other’s size.
Thank you so much for sharing your story!
The same exact thing has happened to me and I think people think it's somehow more ok but it's definitely not!
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