I couldn’t wait to become a Mom. I couldn’t wait to hold my own little creation, to share in the joys and sorrows of 2 hours of sleep, of taking in the smell and smiles of a milk drunk little human, to watch them grow into toddlerhood and then running into their teachers arms instead of your own.
I’ve been through this already in the first 3 years with my daughter. It was amazing. It was hard. It was exciting. it was new. It was so much more than firsts and learning and coming together on this journey called parenthood with my husband. When we found out we were pregnant again and then later found out it was a boy we both had decided that it would probably be our last child because we had one of each. We have always talked about just having two kids and now that he was born 8 weeks ago, I’m already packing my bags and heading back to work.
It went too fast. I tried to soak in every little milk drunk moment, every cry of needing me, every coo and snuggle session that my sweet son gave to me over the last few weeks. There were moments where I was of course taking everything in but then realizing how fast it was going. We had so many people coming and going, traveling near and far to spend time with us and all the while, I was wanting to spend time with them but also mourning my last few days, hours and moments with my son.
So today is the day I head back to work. Where I’ll probably be pulled in a million different directions, spend hours back in the car during the week commuting and wishing I could be snuggling in bed with my little guy before he continues to grow up quicker than I want him too. It’s true when people say they grow up in the blink of an eye because I swear I just went through this with my daughter and now she’s running around on her own, laughing with her Dad and giving kisses to her baby brother.
The good thing/ It’s a small chapter that’s closing. It’s Motherhood. It’s raw and it’s crazy. It’s new and it’s old. It’s scary and it’s everyday non stop worrying. It’s laughing at nothing and everything at the same time. Even though this small little thing will close because we’re probably not going to experience this again, I’m so blessed to have been able to experience it. Being a Mom isn’t glamorous but it’s worth every step of the journey.