There comes a moment as a new Mom ( or even a new Mom in a new town ) when she looks around and says ” I need a Mom tribe ( I’ve shared how to make a FRIEND tribe ) . My own village. I’m fun! I’m cool and I know how to make friends!” and so, she hopes to begin her path to join a local mom group on social media, attend those Mommy and Me classes a few friends were raving about and make small talk with any Mom at the local playground. But then, after a few weeks of attempting all of that, it seems that making Mom friends is a lot harder than making friends in high school.
Honestly, it seems ridiculous that it’s hard to make Mom friends, especially when so many Mom’s stay at home to raise their kids. We should all be tripping over all our Mom friends but it may just not be how it works. Do you have to make Mom friends? Well no, not really. There isn’t a requirement that says you have to have Mom friends for a social life but most of my friends are not parents and that’s ok too.
To me, there a lot of great reasons to have a Mom tribe once you have your children. Mom’s can relate to other Moms on subjects that might poor your other friends. They are amazing to have during school meetings or dull sporting events. Mom friends are great cross-references to gain and confirm knowledge. For example “My child is having a birthday coming up. Do you know some good places for a four year old?”. Think of them as your own personalized Siri who always understands you. When you find your good mom friends, but good luck until you do because girl, it is HARD sometimes.
Here are some ideas on how to make and KEEP your Mom tribe going!
1. No Judgement – As a parent, there are hundreds of choices and decisions that you make on behalf of your family but it seems that each side has its fiercest supporters and critics. Circumsized vs intact. Co-sleeping vs cry it out. Bottle vs breast. It’s so much! These choices can be personal and died to even deeper emotion then you think. When you meet other Mom’s, you’ll find what works for your family may not work for others so make sure to check that Mom shamming at the door. I would suggest look at it as a learning opportunity and you might find a solution to your own challenges that you may have never thought before.
2. Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone – It can be really nerve racking to make new friends in adulthood. Sometimes when you are homebound with a new baby, you aren’t exactly immersed in an ew social situation on a daily basis. Don’t be afraid to strike up a conversation if it’s online, in your neighborhood or at the store. It may not lead to your best friend but it might one day! Also check out group meetings in your area. Organizations hold local meetings throughout the month and it’s a great way to meet other parents, learn something new or ask questions.
3. Be SOCIAL – The internet really has changed the face of what motherhood is all about. A new mom can find it hard to imagine what it was like before Amazon Prime for diaper deliveries, Google for any sort of baby ailment or Instagram to help fill the time during your pumping sessions. There are so many supporters online that you may not be able to meet face to face. Better yet, you can use your social media to facilitate an in person meet up!
4. Choose Activities – When you finally have your group of Mom’s together, what will you do when you get together? Will you have coffee at a local coffee shop? Will you have a book club? Do you want everyone to come over for one big crazy baby party! Activities can even be as simple as sharing articles related to parenting to discuss as a group.
Sometimes putting a Mom tribe together can be difficult. Not everyone is going to see eye to eye or worse yet, not all kids are going to get along. It’s ok. If you’re feeling good chemistry with another Mom, exchange numbers and make an effort to spend time with them. That rule of ‘to have good friends you need to be a good friend’ is key.
How have you met your local Mom tribe? At your church? At a playgroup meet up? What are some tips you have for keeping your own Mom tribe going?