“Why don’t you wear make up on Insta Stories?”
“Keep wearing glasses loser.”
“Do you even eat at all? You’re too skinny”
“God, don’t you even have a life? You’re wasting it”
Happy Monday there gorgeous friend! I’ve been thinking about a lot of things lately and one of the questions I usually get when growing my brand isn’t all about the amazing way to grow a business, but how to DEAL with the haters that come along with being successful!
Woah! That’s a tough question for sure because as a blogger or someone whose just on social media a lot, you’re opening yourself up for a lot of criticism for sure! Above are some comments I’ve gotten from those of you out there who are kind enough to leave these little notes in my inbox or my email. And I will be honest and say… they are tough to read.
But here’s the deal and here’s what I learned.
It’s not really YOU. Have you heard the term “Haters gonna hate” or “Kill with Kindness” ? These are both so true. Hates really do hate on people. They are probably hurting, upset about something or battling something inside and so to make themselves feel better, they hate on you.
But here’s what you can do in return. Treat them with kindness. It’s as easy as that and rightly so. Those individuals are 1/1000 and they will come at you as you continue to grow because with success comes those that are trying to put you down. Jealousy in my opinion is the root for all the hate.
I’ve learned to just delete those people who come into my inbox, my DM box or my Twitter. I don’t need your negativeness to ruin my day because in truth, I am sensitive to it. I also know that I have a strong tribe of amazing bloggers who will support, uplift and encourage me when a troll or comment happen to come on.
And sometimes, I’ll write something nice back to show that although they may try to effect me, it doesn’t work.
Best to be yourself. Like you said, you don’t need that negativity!
-Alexandria
Cait, thank you so much for writing this, this is something I really needed to hear today!!!!! Keep up with the Uber inspiring posts!!! Xoxo
The best way to deal with this kind of negativity I find is just to ignore it – it's mainly just jealousy!
That is the best possible approach to take Cait! Do not spend any of your time worrying about such comments made by unhappy people and instead just keep going forward in a positive way. With any luck they will eventually understand that their own lives will get better if they pull themselves out of that state and become positive too.
I love this! It's so hard to do sometime, but it's so true. When people put others down or treat them poorly it reflects more on that person and their mindset/what's happening in their lives than it does on the person/people they're putting down. Actions say a lot, so treating others with the kindness they aren't showing can make a bigger impact if they're open to it. If they aren't, at least they've had a chance to experience that kindness.
So true! Thank you for the reminder. If we return hate with hate, there will be a circle hate that never ends.
This is sounds advice and just deleting and blocking is great as well.
People are the worst sometimes! That's good you just delete these comments; it's not about YOU – it's about them.
-Lauren
http://www.shootingstarsmag.net
My parents have always taught me the same, kill them with kindness. People are always going to find reasons to criticize, but you have to just take it with a grain of salt.
Yes girl! Be kind, then bless and release! Some people can't stand to see other's that are brave and doing well.
This is such a great way to handle negativity. It can be challenging to remember that it's always the haters' problem, not your own. Kindness will always win.
I am a firm believer of being kind is the right way. Killing them with kindness will be my new motto.
I don't understand where the sensitivity has gone. It's so easy for some of the people out there to say mean and hurtful things behind a computer screen, but they couldn't do it in real life. Keep your chin up girl.
Love this, some people are so negative and don't know what to do with kindness lol!
It's so hard to deal with the negativity someday. I usually tell myself that they might be struggling with something and I should respond with grace.
My friend's favorite line now is "I'm good luv, enjoy." About to steal it lol. Haters will always be around. Smile and wave.
Well said! I am not acknowledging to negativity around me. It takes a lot of practice to stay away from negativity, but I'm slowly getting there.
Yes! I find that I sometimes have to work at it to "kill w/ kindness" but it's usually soooo worth it! Thanks for sharing!
I don't know why people feel the need to be mean on the internet. I really don't. It makes me sad that they are so hurt to be that mean.
Personally I dont even kill people with kindness. I actually like to sit quietly and let my success be what speaks. I cannot even tell you how often people are rude to me about my blog and then score a great campaign with a brand that everyone loves. Deep down, you know it bothers them more…and then they keep viewing and checking up on you. Even if they hate, you still have an audience!
Ugh, I'm sorry this happened to you! I have been lucky so far not to have those nasty people lurking around my social media accounts, but that doesn't meant it won't happen eventually. You are right though, there's no reason to stoop to their level. Kill with kindness. It just reveals their nastiness and not yours.
We experience this kind of treatment occasionally. I usually shrug it off but when it gets to be too offensive, I tell the person, "Did you have a happy childhood or what?" I always rationalize their actions as that of having an unhappy childhood that is why they are lashing out their frustrations on others.
Yes, I totally agree with this. Kill with kindness is the best strategy. Try not to let them get to you easier said than done. stay strong x
i definitely agree with the points you mentioned, be the best version of yourself, always forgive and forget 🙂
I tend to keep the policy of don't respond. Most times that works but if it goes a level I'll respond with as much kindness as I can. My next policy is if I won't say it to someone's face why would I say it online.
Excellent viewpoint. I love where you are coming from with this. Thanks for the encouraging words!!
This is such good advice! I can't believe how mean some people can be but your words are very inspirational! I really enjoyed reading your post!
-Paige Marie
I love what you said. Kill them with kindness. I love the positivity!
Spread kindness like there's no tomorrow darling! They sure need it if they feel the need to go on line and hate on strangers!
People are always so bold and rude behind a computer screen and keyboard. It's always best to just ignore, block and keep it classy.
I think it is so importsnt to stay true to who you are no matter what. It’s so easy to loose ourselves on society.
Well said, I either “kill them with kindness” OR ignore and just move on with my life. I don’t like to waste my time or even allow them to have any sort of power over me.
It's so easy to be critical of others. But in the end, truly being kind wins overall.
I had a lady curse at me once at work, with the 'f' word, in a meeting. I was surprised but continued to be kind and professional. She did it later to another person, again in a meeting, and that lady blew up on her. Everyone treated the lady who blew up differently after that, and not in a good way. Should have been the other way around, but I wasn't surprised. The cursing lady has a lot of power. I agree with you though, stay kind. It doesn't cost anything and it leaves you with a clean conscience at the end of the day.
I am also very sensitive when it comes to negativity and hate. Killing people with kindness and not feeding into their mess is definitely the best way to handle it.
I don't pay attention to such people and to be honest I totally agree they're not pleased with themselves and it is just sad!
The White Ocean
I try not to pay attention to those kinds of people. It creates too much negativity in live.
One of the reasons I don't like social media is because it gives people a platform to be mean to one another. If you wouldn't say it to their face, you shouldn't sit behind a screen and say it.
My go to strategy while dealing with haters is to not respond to their harsh words. Rather look at the supportive friends and family I am lucky to have and move ahead
What a wonderful post! I find that fighting aggression with aggression is no good, "killing them with kindness" is always my approach. Thanks for sharing! 🙂
Haters can just leave us alone forever. People really need to get a life!
It's so easy to just drop a mean sentence or note – possibly anonymous. People write on the internet things they would never put in a letter or say to your face. Quick and dirty. And very pathetic….
not one person in this world can be liked and loved by ALL, there's always going to be people who offend others because they're not happy with themselves… All you can do is be yourself and surround yourself with those who help build you up instead of tear you apart… Kindness is best, yes! don't lower yourself to their level, it's what they want and it's just not worth it.
nice post!
I just love this! SO true and needed today.
So much yes here! I generally just like to forgive people who feel the need to overly criticize. This type of behavior originates from one of two things (or maybe both): jealousy or misery in their personal lives. Once people understand the origin of their comments, then it takes a lot of the bite out of their words.
I agree. I do have some haters as a blogger and influencer. But I keep quiet. I just keep doing my own thing and I also just try to be kind to them. Gives me peace of mind and also open to God's blessings.