The other day Lily and I were driving in the car after I had picked her up from school. We were talking about friends in school she had come to enjoy, play with and those that were not being so nice.
“Mom. You know you’re NOT my favorite right?” I almost slammed on my breaks for a second. Wait… say that again? Did I hear her right?
“What was that?” I had pretended to not hear what she had said only 30 seconds earlier.
She kept staring out the window.
“Nope. You’re not my favorite. Daddy is. You’re not as much FUN as he is” she stated it as a matter of fact, not as an idea she had.
I almost laughed out of frustration. Fun? Fun! I’m the one who cooks and cleans. I wash your clothes. I make you eggs or waffles in the morning. I drive and pick you up from school. I set up play dates with your friends. I make sure you’re happy and brush your tears away when you’re sad. I’m not fun?!
But wait. I don’t need to be the fun parent right now.
I need to be the strong parent for you. The one you come to when you’ve fallen down. The one you tell your big secrets too. The one you giggle and smile when I pick you from school because you know I would never leave you and I always come back.
I need to be the stern parent. Right now my daughter is only 4 and if I can’t set rules and let her learn right from wrong, I’m not setting her up to learn and know it when she’s 14. I know I need to be an authoritative figure to her so she can respect me later.
I need to be the listening parent. The one you can come to when you’re having a problem at school. I want to make sure she feels comfortable coming to me with anything starting now and hopefully to continue when she’s in middle school and high school.
It may not be easy. It may be locking myself up in the pantry for a few minutes to have a good cry out of frustration. It may be smiling and faking it while out in public when my daughter throws a tantrum. It may be taking small and deep breaths every 10 minutes.
I don’t need to be the fun parent right now. And I’m ok to not be that for her right now.
See this is why every mom needs at least one boy. I feel like they're very pro-mama! ????????????
Aw, that's not fun to hear! But I totally get you – you don't have to be the fun parent, even though I'm sure you do lots of fun thing with your little one, because you need to be the one she can really count on. And that's the main thing!
-Lauren
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A great reminder for parents!
I relate completely, but knowing that they feel loved and that we are respected is so important.
Nothing wrong with not being the fun parent. Parenting isn't about being fun, it's about making sure your kids are happy and safe and sometimes that means being struck.
I know exactly what you mean! loved this post, thanks for sharing your story cause so many can relate
I'm the not fun parent too, but like you said, I'm okay with that, truly. I have more important things to do than be fun (like raise my kids the right way) and we still do fun things in the process. 🙂
I'm not a parent yet but I have a feeling I won't be the fun one either — and I think I'll be totally okay with that. I bet parenting is so hard…props to you Cait!
Ha, ha cheeky little bunny.I am sure you are fun Cait. Lovely post, made me miss my mum so badly, mums are amazing ♥
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