I remember in college when my girlfriends made those googly eyes and had a loopy smile when talking about a boy they thought was attractive. The majority of the time I’d roll my eyes and just nod with them. Here we go again I thought to myself. But I was hit with cupids arrow at 20 years old and for the first time in my life, I felt the butterflies, tingles and saw stars too. I mean, I had a few other relationships before seeing this boy in my college class, but for some reason, this guy seemed different.
I knew I wanted to be with Zach after two weeks of dating. I remember calling my Mom and sister and saying ” I think I’m going to marry him” and they laughed and said I needed to calm down. We said “I love you” after two months and knew we wanted to get married after 6. Count us crazy kids in love, but I think we both knew one another was special. If you’re thinking that certain guy may be the one, here’s 4 ways to tell.
1. He doesn’t try to change you – We’re not perfect by any means. I for one, am an awful cook but I attempt it. I’m also terrible at watching football, wrestling or anything sport related. Zach is amazing at all of these things ( a state champ twice in Iowa! ) and I don’t get a single thing about it. I call the wrong items/plays/goals (you get the idea ) and he still laughs along with me. He doesn’t force me to watch the games with him either, despite my attempt and failing after 5 minutes. He just appreciates the company. He doesn’t change me and I don’t force him to do something he doesn’t understand.
2. He cares about your friends and family – At the very early stages of our relationship, one of the things we chatted about was how important out friends and family were to one another. We would not budge on having our ‘girls’ or ‘guys’ nights with our friends because that was our time we needed. Lucky for us, our friends loved one another and they appreciated that we never shut them out just because we were dating. It also happened to work out that we’d end up coupling off and just having a huge couples weekend too. Friends are important and help make your relationship thrive.
3. He can tell you anything– Honesty is key as is trust. Being able to share everything and anything is important to a stable relationship. For me, Zach had a really gentle ease about talking with him. He never judged my feelings but just sat and really listened to me when I needed to vent out frustration. Zach also shared some attributes about himself and I’d do the same. We really learned to grow together when we were honest about what was bothering us.
4. He wants to be with you through thick and thin– You go through a lot together as a couple and yet through it all, he still wants to be with you. After two years of dating in college, I had told Zach I wanted to continue my education and enter a Masters program back in my hometown of Chicago. That would mean a long distance relationship for two years. It was one of the most difficult time for both of us but we made it work through many phone calls, weekend trips and faith that we were going to be together.
If I were to tell you that I knew I wanted to marry my husband after just two weeks of being together, I can already hear you laughing. But I knew this guy was something special, someone that would make me a better person and someone who I truly felt would be a life partner and best friend. Almost 10 years later that still stands true. Relationships are not supposed to be easy but they are worth it. If you have a trust worthy person in your life, count your blessings and for those of you still looking, I have a couple of cute single friends here in Atlanta. Come on down!