Mar 27, 2018

6 Tips To Be A Better Wife Today

Zach and I have been together for almost 11 years. That includes countless moves across country, life changing events like getting married, having children and loosing loved ones. It's a crazy 11 years but I truly wouldn't change anything. That being said, I know that in those 11 years I haven't always been the best wife. I haven't been the one to put him first. I've screamed, yelled and said things I shouldn't have in the moment. We all have haven't we? I'm guilty of it and being honest.

One some level, we are all trying to better ourselves. We want to be a better Mom, a better friend and right now, a better wife to your spouse. But know that this isn't a change that's going to happen overnight. However, you can start today by doing some of these steps and over time, these will all be second nature. So what are these little handy items to do?

1. Don't Nag - If there is one thing I'm super guilty about, it's nagging my husband about this or that. Believe it or not, there really is a difference between asking for something and nagging. Keep that in mind when your partner is there..because that's just it- they are your partner, not your child. While they might not be as ambitious as others, it's really important to not expect things to be done all the time to your standards. It's a hard pill for me to swallow but I bite my tongue the second I feel like I need to nag. Instead, I take a breath and ask for the 4th time to help put items away after the dishes are done. ( on being a Mom is hard too )

2. Communication is Key - We've all heard this saying but it's so true. You and your spouse are not mind readers. If you have an issue, discuss it! If you're upset about something- tell them! They key is to communicate effectively without getting upset or frustrated.  I've shared a few posts about how we've learned to communicate over the years and while it's always a work in progress, we know what one another's triggers are and when to stop. ( Tips on keeping your marriage strong )

3. Dress Up - Long ago before kids, Zach and I used to dress up to go on date nights together. It may sound superficial, but remember those days of putting in effort into your appearance? It's really easy to get comfortable and not try as hard as you once did. Zach even told me that he loves when I do my makeup ( because hello, I'm not the best at it and #MomLife ) but obviously, it doesn't take much to make him happy. Once in a while, take an extra five minutes to beautify yourself. They'll notice your efforts and it can help reignite the flame. ( Budget Friendly Date Night ideas )

4. Let Him Have His "Guy Time" - I totally understand that you love spending time with your man, but hey, sometime's guys just want to be guys! They need to play those video games and get to the gym. They want to go run and tackle their friends in a game of football. If we are to controlling and don't let them have their 'em time', they'll be unhappy. Plus, use that time for yourself too. While he does his guy thing, get, go get that mani/pedi or shopping on!

5. Find A Balance - When Zach and I first were married, it was a balance of our qualities coming together. Allow those qualities to complement one another. I actually love to do laundry ( no really..I do ) and Zach would rather clean all the toilets in the bathroom then fold, so he lets me do it and I let him clean. Once you're able to identify your strengths, as a couple, you'll be able to find your own rhythm and balance.

6.  Make Quality Time With Them - It's easy to text " I love you " or plan a surprise with a favorite meal. Better yet, having a friendly date night on a budget can be fun to plan. It can also be super easy to lose sight of your marriage when children, work, chores and obstacles of everyday life get thrown into the mix. Take time to recognize that your partner is a priority. Show them. ( HERE'S how we spent quality time  )

What tips do you have?

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  1. Great advice! It's always good to have reminders to help you become a better you!

  2. Marriage takes work just like anything else! These are fabulous reminders and goals for all of us wives! A good husband is a blessing, and we need to make our man feel special!

  3. My husband have been together for almost 7 years and married for three. I love these tips and definitely need to work on getting dressed up more!

  4. Thank you for this post. We are just a year and a half in marriage (almost 4 years together) and I needed some of that advice as well as agree with you on some things. I absolutely love doing laundry too! I bet I could do it all day. At times I will put in the effort when we go out. Other times, I don't. We don't go out as often as we did when we were dating (as we are trying to save money to start working on our fixer-upper) but we try to spend time together. We watch a lot of movies at home (On Demand, Netflix, Hulu, Redbox) or run errands together. I wouldn't have it any other way.

  5. I completely agree about communication. It's truly the cornerstone of my marriage. Great tips!

    Beth ||

  6. GIrl, I loved this post!! I need to be better at nagging as well. I agree, communication is key. We are 6 months into marriage only and I will say, marriage is HARD. But so worth it.

  7. I’m not married but I’m a firm believer that communication is key. And it’s about working on the relationship together. Wonderful tips!

  8. So many great tips!! I feel like making your marriage a priority is so important!!

  9. The major issues in today;s world is that we dont have tiem to spend with each other. Honestly if we spend time with our spouse most of the relationships will never break.

  10. These are great tips & something I needed to read at this moment. The hubby & I have been a lil at each other with our different views on parenting lately (sixteen year old girl, need I say more?!). However, we have a week trip to Vegas coming up & I am really looking forward to it...I even dress up a lil bit when we go on trips. :)

  11. I completely agree with all of these! This is so important.

  12. Great tips Cait! It really does become difficult to put your marriage first once you have little ones. I am working to be more mindful of small ways I can keep the spark...sending texts, greeting hubby with a kiss, quick shoulder massages, etc.


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